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Tijd Verdringt

by Second Guessing

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1.
The tissues of my abandonment still have a long way to fully mend It heals tirelessly and up where the anger crawls it starts to disappear Every multiplying cell is an old, scar carrying, memory Every multiplying cell is a blood curdling disappointment But can I say that I’ve been trying to move forward? Can I keep saying that I view love as an organ? That it grows, it breathes, it creates, it destroys, it dies and decays? But maybe that’s all there is to it That what I seek is no more than particles telling me of how to feel and who to be, and that certain chemistry? I crave it endlessly
2.
Up to my wrists my pale hands linger in the water And in the mud my feet are cemented deep Call it a poor effort, or a valiant attempt Isolating myself as a form of self defence A calm and steady current will keep my vices and enemies At a place where I want them to be I could scorch the land but it is better left inundated Puncture the defences Till they’re beyond repair A failure by design Without a soul to bare My body is a map, parchment skin My bones are bastions protruding
3.
Thorn 04:21
As I drag my pen across a sheet of paper A sickness settles in and my heart sinks even deeper I still don’t understand how a family could just fall apart In such an awful way, this had to be the devil’s work It started out with a divorce, what used to be love turned to war. Such a shame for their sons and eventually for everyone. After preparing for months the father made his master plan, So when it would unravel nothing would be the same again First he took his sons to spend a week in a hotel, But that was all a lie, perfected in every detail No goodbyes, no embraces, it would be his final drive He drove past all these places, I’m not sure why Maybe for the memories that haunted him through every dream, I wonder if it eased the pain or kept him sane inside his brain Later that night around half past ten, he rang up the mother and told her where they had been. I often think of how he felt, as he lied, as he told his former wife that everything was completely fine But there’s a gap in this story, one that will never be closed The phone call was the last trace as far as anyone knows The next day the father was found hanging two feet from the ground Unclear where he took the kids and unclear what he exactly did But I felt death in the atmosphere, I felt it in the atmosphere A great search began Hoping for the best but everybody kept death at the back of their heads The mother went insane, because in a blink of an eye she had lost everything The search went on and on without any result, but then the mother got a call “We found two bodies” “They’re your sons”
4.
Leo Brouwer 04:01
Death is rooted in the soil of our present And dwells in those stuck in the past So I dug my hands in the earth There was a burial and a rebirth I found an old, familiar soul Whilst losing a part of my own Nothing will ever fill up the void There’s no point in blindfolding against the inevitable And when it’s through loss will find you I’ve wished for permanence knowing it’s a myth I’ve begged for endlessness, knowing it doesn’t exist The only thing more frightening than mortality is time Because you can’t find peace without a proper goodbye I’ve promised you “You’ll be fine” You’ve proven your resilience, now I’ve got to prove mine
5.
Arvo Pärt 04:55
Rain falls on our clouded minds The mist in our conscience troubles us time and time again If we could see clearly, we might have a chance to turn things around But for now, I can only try Try to see with honest eyes Try to feel with a shattered heart Try to live with what life’s become It makes me sick, to think, about what, could have been What we left, to dissolve, in the waters of time I’m drowning in fear, of what we have missed Or it was all a dream A figment of my imagination The distorted perspective Through which I sense the past Keeps me from changing all at hand I wish I could be certain I did my best I wish I could be certain and lay this to rest And lay this to rest Wake up

about

‘Tijd Verdringt’ is a collection of songs written between 2014 and 2017.

credits

released April 19, 2019

All songs written by Second Guessing.

All lyrics by Rutger van Aken with the exception of ‘Arvo Pärt’ which was written by Vincent Shore.

Vocals: Rutger van Aken
Guitar/Vocals: Vincent Shore
Bass: Jeffrey Plaggenburg
Drums: Robert Constant

Recorded live at Catacomben Studio’s and mixed by Wessel Reijman.

Mastered by William Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios.

Artwork by Allan Gardner

Graphic design and screenprinted illustration by Rutger van Aken

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about

Second Guessing Utrecht, Netherlands

Second Guessing is a 4-piece screamo/post-hardcore band based in Utrecht, The Netherlands formed in 2013.

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