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Cycles of Disappointment

by Second Guessing

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1.
My legs were always bruised in better days And my clothes were always stained by the bark from the trees. I remember it all so much brighter I don't know how to describe it. But everything here has changed over time, And so did this place and so did I. I'm just a kid anyone would agree But I just don't see the similarity No pressure, relief Isn't that what it's supposed to be? But then I found out That my eagerness has never left There was complete silence When I rediscovered it. It's been ages since I felt alive. Or maybe that's just how it seems, 'cause the motorway sounds here disrupt my sleep. Maybe I'm just growing up too fast or I have trouble with how to deal with it. Whatever it is, it is shaping the mold of the future me. But I can only find out when it's cooled down and set. Cuts on my fingers, is all there's left. My clothes are always stained by the ash of cigarettes. But everything will change overtime. And hopefully this place, because then so will I.
2.
I keep on building castles in the sky I hesitate instead of drawing a line Between what I want and what I need Between what's best for you and what's best for me I distract myself From love and faith and happiness From peace of mind and you, I guess Filtering what's positive My thoughts go from dark to darker But I can't let my eyes adjust to it any longer My future is unfocused Blurry and distorted The clock is ticking fast I'm becoming motionless "Life is a quest" That phrase rings loud at the back of my head But for me it's more like a labyrinth A maze that never seems to end Father, mother, sorry for all the thing I've ever done. Trying is all I do, I can never pull through I have mastered the art of letting it all fall apart Unsure where this path will lead, is all that frustrates me
3.
Hounds 03:57
You're scared of everything, it holds you back endlessly. Confused or so it seems, it's hard to grasp reality. And for whatever reason, I think I have mutual feelings It is bittersweet, just don't get the best of me. "Breathe in deep, it will be okay" Is all that you want to believe. It sees through the smoke, following you back home. The dark makes me feel less alone The wind blows, the branches are dancing Staring at the ground I see the moon’s reflection in a puddle Once meaningful, shaken to it’s very core By another step further on the floor. Another step further in the direction that I went for. I look anxiously around me. See the street lights vaguely flickering. It reminded me of how I used to be. A clear head and a purpose You know why you're still here, but not what you're here for. Keep the hounds at bay, don't get swallowed up by hate Praise anything, love anyone Don't forget who witnessed you fall Helped you back up, so you could stand tall. Back on track, back to start. Don't waste time, because I'm running out of mine I'm running out of mine Because I’m running out mine Don’t waste time Because I’m running out of mine Running out of mine.
4.
The calm Mist sleeps on the surface of half dreams Carvings in wood will dissolve the same way Like old childhood memories do. I cannot lose anything anymore. It´s all far gone, it´s all forlorn The storm The birds will sing me to sleep again Until I’m dead, until it’s quiet in my chest Because I’m weak, I’ll only sleep when my eye lids are too heavy to carry. When it’s too heavy, to carry It’s 4 am, and I’m just waiting for the birds to sing me to sleep again.

credits

released December 3, 2014

All music was written and performed by Second Guessing.

Artwork was done by Rutger van Aken

Recorded, mixed and mastered by Erik Sterk at Studio 4205

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Second Guessing Utrecht, Netherlands

Second Guessing is a 4-piece screamo/post-hardcore band based in Utrecht, The Netherlands formed in 2013.

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